Before I joined the choir at St. Francis de Sales, I often thought that the chant I heard during the mass was actually sung by angels from Heaven. The solemn notes from the organ are the triumph of the coming of Jesus. God’s love fully embraces me when I am at the St. Francis de Sales.
It took me about a year to actually have the courage to join the Ladies Schola. I could not imagine how I, with such a modest voice could truly demonstrate the glory of God. However, the more I listened to the Gregorian chant, the more I felt that I was called to be part of it. I finally discovered what intrigued me about it all when I joined the Ladies Schola.
I will never forget that Thursday, after the entrance hymn. I was kneeling there, looking up to the Sacrament shining in front me. A profound joy gradually unfolded from the deepest part of my heart. I could feel tears flowing down my face. “Who am I”? I asked myself; “Where I am?” I looked up to Christ on the cross. I felt lost but suddenly re-found myself in an ineffable joy and peace with God. Thanks be to God for inviting me to share this truly “homecoming” moment. I did not care about who I was any more; the only thing I cared about now was kneeling there in total service to Our Lord until the end of time.
During the Benediction, I realized that Gregorian chant became for me nostalgic of the kingdom of heaven. It flowed out naturally from the bottom of my heart. Oh, Lord, we are all lonely in this world, but You and You alone is our final destination. Through you all the things were made. You are Alpha and Omega. One day, I pray, I will go back home and reunite with You forever.
Now, I can say with certainty that Thursday is the best day of the whole week. I am still not good at singing and still avoid singing in front of people. However, I now believe that singing Gregorian chant is a kind of special devotion. It is the most mystical melody Holy Spirit grows in my heart. I pray to my patron Saint Cecilia that I can always sing glory to God however difficult life may become.