It has been a while I did not do daily reflection well. I still think that the mental prayer is always the most difficult prayer to do, since during a lot of time I did not know what I was thinking during the prayer.. When I am busy it is always the first thing I skip.. I can do rosary, even the divine office… but mental prayer is challenging.
The commitment to mental prayer is a commitment for the regular communication with Our Lord. For all the other prayers, it might be so easy to read the prayer with an absent mind or heart. However, for mental prayer, without a whole devoted heart, it is just hard to do that.
The first step to commitment to mental prayer is the commitment of time. I still remember one of my dearest father and brother often told me that one of the most precious thing I have on earth is “time” and it is the offering that will please our Lord. Think it in this way, how much time we use to earthly work to make a living? how much time we use for entertaining us but not pleasing God. How much time we spend every week with God? From there, I know that I am a sinner. I give so small a portion of time to our Lord, and I waste soo much time on unnecessary thing or even the things that offend our Lord.
I often say that my mind goes much faster than my actual action. Even when within the heart, I know the importance, I still cannot do it. It tells me again that I am a sinner and really weak. Without God’s grace. nowhere can I go.
however just like today’s reading:
Jesus said, “What is the Kingdom of God like?
To what can I compare it?
It is like a mustard seed that a man took and planted in the garden.
When it was fully grown, it became a large bush
and the birds of the sky dwelt in its branches.”
Again he said, “To what shall I compare the Kingdom of God?
It is like yeast that a woman took
and mixed in with three measures of wheat flour
until the whole batch of dough was leavened.”
When God put the seeds in one’s heart, it will keep growing.. Like my spiritual father said that God will always supply the grace to lead one to him, as long as one cooperate with it.
I cannot say how much how much I see that in my life I see the seeds and faithful people around me.. I see the work of God done on me to lead me to the confession and conversion. I also see how few the work I have done to reply to God’s grace. I am just a sinner…
I pray, my Lord…. let me always hear your voice and not harden my heart with the secular desire…. Lord… I am a sinner and have mercy on me..