Reflection and Thanks be to God: Goodbye 2013

2013 was a busy year.. I transferred my life from STL to China , and to rural China.

The beginning of 2013 was a really sad: I lost my job and my boyfriend at the same time.. I felt that I was at the bottom of my life. The lowest moment in the life always gave one a important lesson. Sometimes, you know, you can only rely on God, and when you walked through that, you know that you trust Him more and more.

The beginning of 2013 I was struggling about whether I should I go back to China directly since I booked the tickets for 2.15… two day right before the Chinese New Year.. later I felt that if I just went back home at that time, I won’t get anything from that. Then I decided to stay.. Another Chinese New Year without family!

BUT God’s love is with me. On Chinese New Year’s Day, Serafinos gave me a huge Chinese New Year Party.. I cannot say how much I am moved by them.. They are the best people in the world. I just like spending time with them… and Thank you for all of you who were present at that time.

The whole year of 2013 is a true year of faith for me… Although it was a really really depressed early Lent, I chose to stay away from my family for the entire whole lent trying to find a job. It was a really dark moment in my life, but I got soo much comforts from God, from His holy priests and the best friends he gave me. I have to say Thank you to my great spiritual director..The father of my soul…. However sad I am, however depressed I am, he only told me and asked me to focus on God. Without his great direction,  it would be almost impossible for me to be strong or even just get up from the bed some day in my life, because my strength comes from God.

The entire lent, Fr A did not asked me to do anything “job “related, but all Christ related.. To pray, and to think about vocation. Sometimes, I do thought that he is tooo “unrealistic”, but he is right.. For me, there is only one important thing in this world: MAKE TO THE HEAVEN. there are two vocations to that goals.. Marriage or religious life… I have to decide between them.. Now, I gussed I am 70% sure which way I might go.. So .. Please continuously praying for me.

During the Lent,  GRE, Job hunting, Lady schola on Thursday, Stations to the Cross on Friday and Mass on Sunday.. SFdS becomes the home of my soul forever.. I miss it… Now Gregorian did become my nostalgia.. I miss SFdS and I long for the home on Heaven.. the true home.

During the Lent, we got our new Pope..

During the Lent, I got interview from TFC during the lent. I visited Chicago.. The last week of Lent.. which is really cold….After interview, I went to Chicago symphony orchestra which is the best ever in my life.. At that time, I did not think that I would end here now in Shantou… BUT God does answer my prayer.. I have valid and legitimate mass to go.. God is GREAT!

Then, I had the best ever Easter Triduum in my life.. all Latin mass.. I was soo moved and felt the deepest joy in my life..

Then I received the offer from TFC at the second week of Easter, and I booked the tickets to leave US after Corporal Christi..

I visited the benedictine of Mary at the fourth week of Easter… I have to say Thank you to the Sisters of St. Benedictine.. Your prayers made such a huge impression in my heart.. You may never know how much my thoughts have changed after spending time with you… You showed me the possibilities and examples of pursuing holiness… I am trying to follow you.. in any possible way in my life.

I told my friends that I just wanted to leave secretly because I would cry too much…Finally I decided to have a farewell mass.. I did not know what is better thing for me to do..Now I begin to feel more and more that Mass is the best gift from God and I do wish to invite more and more people to enjoy this gift with me.

so we have a farewell mass on the day the entire world pray for the church in China… as the beginning of my farewell party…

Thank you for the Hannegans to host the party for me….

I had dinner with my best Stark’s family and Two weeks later, I went back to China.. Home… on earth..

Besides the people I mentioned above, there are sooo many other people I wish to thanks during this post… Without you, my 2013 won’t be that easier…Your guys are the gifts God gave me..I have to say thank you to all of you!

I have to say Thank you to Fr J,  you are the one of the best priests I have ever met in my life…  Your story always inspires me and thank you sooo much that you gave me such great comforts and encouragements during my darkest time in the US.

I cannot forget sometimes, I felt tired and sad, I just called Kosi, and she would show up at my apartment in 5 minutes and she often tried to prepare the best banana muffin in the world.

I cannot forget Starks. Every one of them is the nicest person in the world. I cannot forget the ice-cream, Feize’s, Boat house, and even just small restaurants Greg treated me and tried to comforted me during the dark time. I cannot forget Mrs Stark’s nicest dish in the world..

I cannot forget Nikki Benjamin… I cannot forget the time we spent together at SFdS. I cannot forget that you drive me to Mesmeric Spring.. Your smiles always made me happy and your sweet words always inspire me to go on and on…

I cannot forget Kelsey, Anna and all the ladies of Lady Schola and our MBK.. Gregorian chant is always the voices from the deep of my heart.

I cannot forget Steven and his gentleness and the welcome I receive from his families..

I cannot forget All the friends from Cathedral of STL and from SFdS..You may not believe how much I miss all of you!

The lists can be much longer, if I forget to mention you, I have to say sorry…

there is definitely one more person, I have to mention.. although we may never ever be together in this life, I do pray from the deepest of my heart, we should work hard that one day we will be together in Heaven..

He brought me to Korean restaurants.. Hot pots… Boat House…and all the tasty restaurants in STL.

He accompanied me to Latin mass during those important feasts..and just wanted to make sure that I am safe.

He created this website for me..

He would come back no matter how many times I hurt him and will always come for help when I ask…


I loved Him and will continuously loving him as brother in Christ.. I will always pray for you…

Goodbye 2013… Happy New Year, my dear Friends!

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