Last night, I had a conversation about commitment and friendship with a friend. These days, those kind of topics are getting harder and sometimes even hurting, because it is kind of waking call for the meaning of life again.
We, as social being, we have to be connected to people. However, the establishment of relationship needs “commitment”. What behind the commitment are the senses of hope for eternity and the senses of responsibility to make to the end. It is hard to talk about those idealistic words these days : eternity, commitment, and responsible. Because we live a fast change world which supplies us with fragile foundation to build something last long. It is just easy to make excuse that “I do not know what will happen with me, so I cannot commit anything”.
In the past 10 years, I frequently move between China and the US, and each year, I travel a lot around world. A lot of people are jealous of this life, but I have to tell you, airport becomes a place I hate the most. Last year, when I sent my parents away at the end of the winter break, I saw them passing through the security checking in the LAX. I just could not control my tears. They are the only people in the world that God gave me who commit all their lives to me, they love me with their whole heart, but I cannot give back my whole heart.
Maybe it is because that I am from a very loving family, I become too naive about human nature. I believe that eternity and commitment bring happiness, so when I make friends, I wish the friendship could be forever. However, the reality sometimes proves that I am wrong. Too many meetings turn out to be “last meeting”. I learn to take it easy, I learn to be more “self-centric”, which were not the personalties and characteristics I wish to take on when I was a kid.
I do not blame that people take friends as friends of benefit. When people stop looking for eternity, some people try to catch the short term benefit as fast as possible. It is sad, but it is just life and crude reality these days. However, reality is not truth. Truth set people free, reality imprisons us.
During the summer, I went back to see my coworkers and students. I walked pass by a fruit store and decided to buy some fruits for the local teachers. The owners of stores recognized me immediately though I have not been back for a year. He himself even surprised that I came back. He thought that I am from city , where people do not “care”. While, traditional Chinese value taught me how to care, why to care and to care what. The strong focus on family and human relationship make people there believe in eternity, they believe that friendships will never fade even with the time pass. Local teachers care about me and asked about me all the time after I left. Students still keep sending me their grades.
I often say that rural China is not a place that you can leave after you stay there for a while. The true human society embedded the true way of human interaction. It is not about “like” you on the Facebook. It is not about exchanging of benefit. It is about the caring, it is about commitment.
YES, I still have hope for human nature even after feeling hurt many times. It is too idealistic to say that I will not stop loving.. ( seriously??, I can only say that I will try not to hate…lol….). YES, I will still commit something to people even the majority of the meetings will be last meetings. I commit to pray for those passengers for life. I wish you all the best for life!
( picture was taken from butterfly garden. I love butterflies, because even though they only have 7 days of life on earth bathing in the sunshine, they are so passionate about love, and continuity of life)