Live in a foreign country: On morality and values

July 26, 2017

Every time, when I watch some bad news about students studying aboard ( such as drug abuse, and other issues) with parents at home, my mom always says that , I am so glad that you are safe and away from those bad things. I look at my mom, ask her,” are you worried about that?”  She says,” yes,  we are worried about your safety all the time, but we…

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On Human Relationship, Faith and Hope

July 22, 2017

Last night, I had a conversation about commitment and friendship with a friend. These days, those kind of topics are getting harder and sometimes even hurting, because it is kind of waking call for the meaning of life again. We, as social being, we have to be connected to people.  However, the establishment of relationship needs “commitment”. What behind the commitment are the senses of hope for eternity and the…

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OSL, Sr. Fisher and linear models in general

April 8, 2016

OK, let’s talk about statistics. When you have one of the best statistics professor in the world, you will feel more and more pains when you do OSL ( ordinary least square) , because he always reminds you of the assumptions you need to have in order to use OLS in order to get the minimal least squares error between the observed the Y and predicted Y. We all know…

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大地上的呼吸——余华《活着》

January 12, 2014

前几天我的新认识朋友还开玩笑说,我是从西方油画中走出来的,这无非说明了两点,第一,我是不现实的,或者太过理想主义,第二,也许对于很多人来说,我还是有那么一点崇洋媚外。但是真正和我一起长大的朋友,都知道我对于生我,养我的土地有着一分沉重的情感,这个也许该叫做“爱”。 突然想起读余华的书,是朋友不经意的提起加之PM的学期礼物。我对于中国文学作品的了解并比多,尤其是当代作家的,我是一个比较懒的人,我不愿意浪费在不值得读的东西上面,所以我需要推荐,一是来自历史,二是来自值得信赖的好友。所以我常读死去的人的书,有时也读读好友推荐给我的好书。 《活着》是一本厚重的书,我不大愿意用“沉重”来形容他,福贵的一生纵然悲惨,那都是民族国家的悲剧,而就他本人来说,他是一个英雄,不是西方意义上的悲剧英雄,而是扎根大地,脚踏实地,承载民族灵魂的英雄,他不平凡,因为我们都平庸了,谁都活不到他那般真实的程度,少有人可以和他一样,在经历了那么多之后, 依然选择活着。这就是我们这代人最最缺乏的东西,活着的力量。对于最传统的东西的执着:生命和生命的延续。我自己就是缺乏这种力量的现代人,我畏惧婚姻,畏惧家庭,只想着成为大地上漂浮的灵魂,倘若我无法真实地活着,我的结局亦或是幻灭,或是孤独终老,没有故事的终老。 也许有人会把余华对于民族灵魂的阐述和鲁迅对于民族劣根性的阐述放在一起讨论,我也这么想过,在悲剧的人生里,我们为什么就没有诞生积极反抗的英雄。每一个不同的人活出自己的样子,走好自己的人生,就是最坚强的反抗,最真实的反抗就是最真实的活着。 “你一定要活下去。” 中国文学总是淡淡的,不经意间就会让人想起自己的生活,不像阅读西方的故事,我始终在某种程度上会是一个旁观者。福贵的故事不由得也让想起我们的孩子们,在社会的最底层,从小被多少注定了将来做“奴隶”的命运,很多人也许觉得奴隶这个词语太过分了,但是试想,所有的人都早已告诉他们,他们未来的命运就是打工,只有打工,没有其它可能性,这难道不是生来为奴的命运?很多受过教育的都看到,他们现在干的活将来肯定会被机器所取代,他们会失业。但是我却说,他们不会,因为对于奴隶主来说,人可以成为最便宜的机器,甚至是没有成本的机器。 活着,若感受不大“生命”,那不是活着,而是行尸走肉。记得作者在《活着》文章开头说的那句话,没有多少人能像福贵那样如此真实的感受着自己的生命,所以他的故事才精彩。 我们是否真实地感受了自己的存在?我们是否还会说,我心痛,我难过,我悲伤,我知道随着年龄的增长,我在越发的减少感情的投入,我常说,别闹了,不说了。。。这种畏惧,背后是我在麻痹自己。幸好,我还很爱自己教的孩子,很爱自己选择的社工专业,因为我还不经意间会说孩子们是薄情寡义的家伙,倘若我真不再爱了,也许我也就不在意他们是不是爱我了。但是我知道,从某种程度上,我已经开始回避最真实的“爱”,现代人的虚弱吧。 我们的孩子也一样,我们是不是也可以让他们感受到“活着”的力量,感受到自己的力量?真实的活着,就是力量,就是改变,就算最后时代依然带来悲剧,他们也有了好故事!

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Notes of City Of God

July 10, 2013

St. Augustine’s writing is always very attractive to me.   I got this book of English version as a gift from my friend. I was not mature enough to read it at that time and my English was not good enough to understand it.  When I opened this book now, I just cannot stop loving it. It is such a strong book to defense our faith in all sense and…

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